ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH
I’ve been feeling into my next steps with practicums. What seems important now is for those who take my foundational levels, be able to have their after-class questions answered as added support. So starting after May's Basic, I’m offering a FREE one hour 'Question/Answer Support' for the new Basic students this year, and then for the Advanced students in August. If others are interested in having some of their questions answered about the techniques as well, the cost will be $30. A recording will be made. (I got the sound fixed so I can hear everyone now...yea!) You can email me your questions if you don't have time or ask it during the recording. The link will be sent after for your convenience. The 'Question/Answer Support'' will be Saturday, May 20th at 10:30 AM PT.
I still have spaces for an Online Support group for those who are interested in having more assistance in childhood trauma healing. I’ve given two presentations online and have the recordings if others are interested. This is the second one with details in it. http://www.anymeeting.com/uteqxfqpvmlqgs/E955DB82894A3D
You can also contact me at email@example.com for further information.
ACCREDITED THETAHEALING WORKSHOPS
All courses are accredited by the ThetaHealing Institute of Knowledge® and can be applied toward the ThetaHealing® Master and Certificate of Science programs. If you have not taken the Basic or Advanced in 5 years, please be aware that this is the time for recertification in order to keep the name ThetaHealing® or ThetaHealing Technique® in use through your website, practice or business card. Reduced pricing is available if it's been 5 years or less. More information is at:
Two Spring Basics-May 5-7th, and June 23-25th, Friday-Sunday
Advanced-August 4-6th, Friday-Sunday
BLOG FOR THE SOUL
Quote of the month: "You may want to take stock of your feelings, emotional needs, and desires. You may be harboring some unrealistic expectations." ~Unknown author
[I found it interesting that I had already written the below article when I read what Vianna wrote one on ‘needs’ too…physical needs tied to money. Vianna’s article is posted below under ‘Evolution Newsfeed.’ This blog, though, is about emotional needs.]
Lissa Rankin is a well-respected doctor and writer on behavior and relationships. I normally appreciate what she writes, but his particular article had me pondering on what I felt as some misconceptions about neediness, needs and vulnerability (emotional, I’m assuming on her part). Just to say that Lissa is a very emotionally vulnerable woman, extremely authentic and an earthy writer.
I noticed that Lissa confuses needs and neediness often in the article as needy being a necessary part of relating. I was surprised because for me, being able to distinguish between needs and neediness is very supportive to the understanding of how to get our needs met.
Lissa wrote, "No matter how much we try to demonstrate loving behavior with others, if we are in denial of our own vulnerability and neediness, if we judge our needs as weaknesses and reject or exile those parts of ourselves, then we will be unable to show up with true compassion for others when they need us." Notice there wasn’t a distinction between neediness and needs…they absorbed together as water on a thirsty lawn. I agree that needs are not weakness, but showing up needy with desperation can get messy in getting one’s needs met. Judging ourselves for feeling needy doesn’t help either.
In accepting when we feel needy, to allow that feeling to be acknowledged by ourselves can be relieving. Check out this example:
“I feel really needy and anxious. When I check in with myself, my body feels jittery and I feel alone. I realize that no one calls me anymore. Everyone seems so busy. I’m always busy too. Hmmm. What I need is authentic connection…with myself first and then with another.”
The need wasn’t actually established at first though the feeling could be recognized as ‘needy’. This lead to starting to project it outside (‘everyone seems so busy’), catching this, turning it into self-accountability and finally into clarification of need which lead to a thoughtful solution (a potential action).
In the following statement, notice that another kind of ‘needy’ occurs. “You never touch me the way I like. I feel so needy for real connection. Do I need to get it outside this relationship?” First, this is put on another with an energy of not fulfilling some kind of emotional expectation which is not even clear what is wanted. What does the person mean by ‘never touch me’? What kind of ‘touch’? What is it that the person really needs? One part is faulting the way the other touches, and then there is wanting the other to be there without any clarity of when or how. Notice that there is a ‘threat’ to go outside the relationship to get the unclear needs met. To understand what the need is within the neediness would make a big difference, but it’s not expressed in that way.
It often happens that people project their neediness like a uncared-for child grappling for another’s attention or connection. When I’m around people like this, I often feel it as gloppy energy around them, pulling in many directions but wanting to attach to whomever will accept it; and I avoid the other in feeling that I won’t get a clear statement of what is going on for them, inability to say what the need is to even work with, and a desperate and unclear emotional expectation just in case the other might think they can somehow pull me into this dynamic.
Getting clear about our needs isn't about neediness. It's about being able to express what we want for ourselves to another without an emotional expectation to get it met, but an openness that it can be met. It's an inquiry into a possible shared experience of support and assistance. It’s the way we have interdependence with others that can add to the richness and care in relationships. That's emotionally vulnerable and connecting, because we aren't being reactive in having to get another to support us. Again, that would be neediness.
Stating our needs is just an expression of what we feel and want. There may be negotiations that might need to be discussed. And the other may not be the right person to be part of meeting that need. But just in the expression of telling another and being heard, can stop an underlying neediness even if the need doesn't get met by another. That’s being vulnerable…both recognizing the need and expressing it.
We can all learn to have resources both internally and externally to get our needs met so we don't have to put our unresolved 'neediness' on another to learn to acknowledge our needs. Some of the internal resources may be to learn to appreciate ourselves, to know our needs have value and it’s safe to express them by knowing when and how to express them…that we are worthy of expressing our needs.
Some of the external resources might be finding people who are safe and caring to practice expressing our needs to, learning how to negotiate with others, having connections that want to share in supporting our needs and we sharing in theirs.
Though I use discernment in reading anything, most of the article really resonated as truth for me. It’s a reflective read supporting some avenues of creating intimate, interdependent relationships.
Happy May Day and upcoming Mother’s day
May we all learn to nurture our needs in the highest and best ways.
I extracted possible ‘theme’ beliefs from the story. Energy test yourself for them, practice clearing them through digging if applicable, and use Creator's teachings, including the ones below, if they fit.
My neediness is best suppressed.
My needs are best suppressed.
I have difficulty distinguishing between my neediness and needs.
It’s safe to acknowledge my needs.
I can identify my needs without feeling: guilty…wrong…unworthy.
To be able to identify my needs in the moment, is too emotionally vulnerable.
My emotional needs get met when I go outside myself and expect another to figure out what I need.
I’m expected to figure out others’ needs.
I find value in myself when I can figure out others’ needs before they do.
I find value in myself when I can figure out others’ needs before my own.
My emotional needs are unnegotiable.
Helpful Creator’s teachings/downloads
I know what it feels like to, how to, when to, that it's possible, that I can, I do (or I am/am able to be):
Understand the difference between being needy and knowing what my need is
To identify my needs without feeling: guilty…wrong…unworthy
To extract the need from the neediness and be able to state the need
Worthy, deserving and good enough to state my needs
Appreciate the value of my needs
Best way to get them met by checking in with myself
Value myself by the way I identify my owns needs
Recognize the emotional needs of others without having to take care of them
To participate in supporting others’ needs when it feels right for me
To negotiate how I want to participate in supporting others’ needs
To be able to negotiate how to get my needs met with another
Finding your Natural Motivation
Vianna shares that miracles can happen when we are simply motivated not by our first motivation of money but by our motivation of love. And to really teach our subconscious that there is plenty for us, and that we would still keep working in service if we had a lot of money.
Emotion Shapes Reality
Human Emotion Physically Shapes Reality say scientists!
Three different studies, done by different teams of scientists proved something really extraordinary. Human emotion literally shapes the world around us. Not just our perception of the world, but reality itself. In the presence of negative emotions the DNA tightened. In the presence of positive emotions the coils of the DNA relaxed.
The scientists concluded that “Human emotion produces effects which defy conventional laws of physics.”
How to be there for people who need you the most--holding sacred space
It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control.
2 yr old baseball prodigy, Christian Haupt, began sharing vivid memories of being a baseball player in the 1920s and '30s. From riding cross-country on trains, to his fierce rivalry with Babe Ruth, Christian described historical facts about the life of American hero and baseball legend Lou Gehrig that he could not have possibly known at the time.